Let’s face it — trying on bikinis and bathing suits is depressing. In my case, I don’t think it’s depressing because I’m ugly or have too much junk in the trunk (sadly, I barely even have a trunk at all), it’s more due to the fact that standing in a cramped closet under fluorescent lighting in the middle of the afternoon after eating a carb-heavy lunch and listening to idiotic tweens in the store giggling about spandex thongs just isn’t very fun.
This effectively gets around the entire issue: you don’t have to wear anything, try anything on, blow the bank account on ill-fitting spandex or waste water cleaning it afterwards.
Now, while I’m more than happy to sleep in the nude, swimming naked is a bit more tricky. I can’t exactly go to any beach I want and just strip down to the buff, and if certain people are around — like coworkers, fathers, and, well, just about every dude I know except for maybe two or three ridiculously close friends — it’s not going to happen.
However, the next time I have the opportunity to go swimming, be it on vacation or at a cottage or while camping or just here in Toronto during the summer, I’m going to make a point of hitting the nude beaches and bonding with Mother Nature in my birthday suit.
I realize this is kind of cheating because I probably won’t have the opportunity to do this in the next 10 days (omg! 10 days left! w00t!), but how’s this: I, Vanessa Farquharson, hereby solemnly swear that regardless of my year-long green challenge coming to an end, I officially pledge to swim naked the next time I am anywhere near a body of water and my boss and/or father aren’t around. That work?