The skinny on bathing suits (Day 356)…

diving

Let’s face it — trying on bikinis and bathing suits is depressing. In my case, I don’t think it’s depressing because I’m ugly or have too much junk in the trunk (sadly, I barely even have a trunk at all), it’s more due to the fact that standing in a cramped closet under fluorescent lighting in the middle of the afternoon after eating a carb-heavy lunch and listening to idiotic tweens in the store giggling about spandex thongs just isn’t very fun.

But recently, as I was browsing through the archives of Ideal Bite, I found this cute little tip: frequent nude beaches and skinny dip.

This effectively gets around the entire issue: you don’t have to wear anything, try anything on, blow the bank account on ill-fitting spandex or waste water cleaning it afterwards.

Now, while I’m more than happy to sleep in the nude, swimming naked is a bit more tricky. I can’t exactly go to any beach I want and just strip down to the buff, and if certain people are around — like coworkers, fathers, and, well, just about every dude I know except for maybe two or three ridiculously close friends — it’s not going to happen.

However, the next time I have the opportunity to go swimming, be it on vacation or at a cottage or while camping or just here in Toronto during the summer, I’m going to make a point of hitting the nude beaches and bonding with Mother Nature in my birthday suit.

I realize this is kind of cheating because I probably won’t have the opportunity to do this in the next 10 days (omg! 10 days left! w00t!), but how’s this: I, Vanessa Farquharson, hereby solemnly swear that regardless of my year-long green challenge coming to an end, I officially pledge to swim naked the next time I am anywhere near a body of water and my boss and/or father aren’t around. That work?

Photo towel-snapped from Warner Strauss on Flickr

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24 Responses to The skinny on bathing suits (Day 356)…

  1. dinsky says:

    Fantastic! Swimming in the buff is really nice :)

    We’re pretty lucky to have access to a private swimming hole in the Beatty river (runs through Hanover Ontario) in which to skinny dip all summer long. It’s the only way to go

  2. just ducky says:

    Oh wow! What a brave soul you are! I would never in a million years make that pledge…I get all weird about the thought of things free flowing/swimming around my privates…not to mention the thought of all of my rolls being on display for all to see…I’ve got a long ways to go before I acquire that kind of bravery!

  3. Meg says:

    Did you really write w00t in context? eickers… was it not last year about this time you were struggling with the concept of a blog?

    anywho- you + me + naked weekend at the cabin when I am home. I gotta show off my tan lines to someone. I know you’ll appreciate them. no swimming as yet- but perhaps we could brave a nude snow shoe adventure. see you soon my sweet green thistle for the great ungreening!

  4. Eesh … I personally would vote for something along the lines of an organic cotton, fair trade, handmade version of the traditional 1920s bathing suit, which would cover so much flesh no sunscreen would be needed. But somebody’s gotta uphold my reputation as a prude. Kudos to you.

  5. debbie says:

    10 days?! While I know this will be a relief for you, I am one of those who are wondering where my next chuckle will come from. While I have not replied often, I have never missed a post. Your humor and creativity have brought me through many a work crises. And your inspiration has taken me further on my green quest than any single source. Small changes lead to big changes! I will miss your daily posts! Thank you for introducing me to your many visitors, Crunchy, Greenpa and the rest. You are all a virtual mini-vacation and full of food for thought!

  6. I have to chime in with debbie. I read you every single day and will miss you mightily – clothed or butt naked.

  7. blah says:

    I too am going to weep recycled free-range tears. However, when it comes to the skinny dipping thing -you’re on your own sister!

  8. Hellcat13 says:

    At this point, I don’t think it’s ever going to stop snowing, so you may be waiting a while for this one! I believe my neighbours have officially disappeared after today’s snowfall.

  9. pat says:

    So what happens if your mother is standing around? You know, the one who hasnt seen you butt naked since you were 7 years old.
    So what are the plans come March 1st. ? Are you still going to dilly dally around this site or will it crash and burn?

  10. Oldnovice says:

    So what are the plans come March 1st. ? Are you still going to dilly dally around this site or will it crash and burn?

    I haven’t been keeping up as well as I should, I guess, but I thought you were going to spend a month at a cabin somewhere writing a book and then it seemed like you were home again just a few days later. ???

    I’d be interested in the followup to your experimental stage, much like I’m interested in the stuff Colin has posted since his mandated year came to a close. My husband recently quit smoking cigarettes after a two-week illness. He’d really thought he’d go back to smoking, but when he gave one a try he realized that he was done with that. I think there are some areas in this environmental experimentation that will come as surprises, as well. I know there are some wasteful habits that I just can’t abide in myself anymore. It’s as though once the light has shone on the subject there’s no going back. I look forward to hearing what things you missed enough to reestablish as part of your life.

  11. badhuman says:

    Wow, I don’t think I could swim naked around strangers anymore then I could around friends, family or coworkers. I guess I’ll just keep my swimsuit until I die :)

    http://badhuman.wordpress.com

  12. gettinggreen says:

    Welcome back from Thailand, Mom! And I’m sure you must have seen me naked since I was 7… I just went skinny dipping every morning at the cottage this summer to wash my hair… and I usually only wear my birthday suit at Body Blitz… you could at least sneak a look at me in the changing room there :)

  13. Beth Terry says:

    Okay, this naked family stuff is making me feel all weird and creepy. Reminds me of home. Stop already! :-)

    I don’t think I need to worry about this issue. My current swim suit gets so little use, it’ll probably last until I’m in my 90’s and have to roll up my boobs and duct tape them in place. It’s hard enough letting others see me in my Speedo moderate-cut one-piece swim suit (and yeah, it was a real struggle deciding between the moderate and conservative styles when I bought it.)

    But we’ll see. Maybe if I can get back on Crunchy’s No Waste diet plan and stop being so liberal with the olive oil, I too could aspire to public nekkitude some day.

  14. pat says:

    OOh, thanks for the duct tape tip!
    I try to avert my eyes from naked people as it is rude to stare!

  15. Trix says:

    It’s so liberating to swim in the nude. I’ll admit I’ve done it at Wasaga Beach a few times and yes, during the day and fine I did have my suit on going into the lake but it’s illegal and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like to be arrested.

  16. blah says:

    The only time I’ve ever swam naked was when I was a teenager alone, and in the privacy of my own pool late at night. In the desert, the temperature is still in the mid 90’s at night during the summer so it just sort of feels like you’re in one big bathtub. That was the only way that was ever going to happen.

    BTW, notice how Vanessa isn’t telling us what will happen to the website! I feel like my emotions are being toyed with! :-( (kidding). But seriously, how am I going to get my daily fix?

  17. Jennifer says:

    That picture reminds me of one of the first dates my husband and I went on… we hiked 10 miles into northern Glacier National Park at the end of May on a aday hike. Our feet were SO sore when we got to the top, and the sun was SO hot… and the water looked so REFRESHING. We dared each other to strip down and dive in… and we did.

    IT WAS SO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Mental note. Never skinny dip in a glacier fed lake. :) Especially in MAY.

  18. Megan says:

    I don’t think I will ever have the guts to do something like that. But you go girl!!

  19. [...] But, if you can’t find a suit you like, Green As A Thistle advocated swimming in the buff. [...]

  20. Bill says:

    Swimming in the buff is a lot better and it feals good as long as you do it whare the
    public cant see you

  21. [...] have much in that department to lose. He’s inappropriate that way sometimes. But hey, if Vanessa can write about getting naked with her parents… Oh, dear. I think I’m getting punchy at [...]

  22. Pool Repair says:

    Pool Repair…

    [...]The skinny on bathing suits (Day 356)… « Green as a Thistle[...]…

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